Friday, 25 November 2011

My Name is Ezio Audetore da Firenze. I am an Assassin.

Hey there, bloggers.

I just wanted ot tell you guys that in the next few weeks I will be working on an Assassin's Creed fanfiction. I'm hoping to have it based on someoe fro mFirenze. I need Italian names form the time.

Like ____ Audetore Da Firenze.

I'm planning on having the man related to Ezio.

Thanks for the names,


Monday, 7 November 2011

Could it be...? My God! Sarthacus has posted some Fanfiction! SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT STYLE!!!

“You have stubble now?”
“Well, saving countries is one thing, but shaving… it’s not fun. Plus, I like people to know that I’m male.”
“I’m fairly sure you saved the world a lot.”
“That’s for Valkyrie to do. Not forgetting Skulduggery of course.”
Sarthacus Bolt shook hands with an old friend – Dragona Pine. They’d first met in a bar; a man had been trying to pick a fight with Sarthacus. One thing led to another, and he had got the whole bar fighting for a drink and entertainment.
“Ya pickin’ a fight, pal?”
“I’m not your pal,” Sarthacus said. “And you don’t want to know what happened to the last guy who did this.”
Dragona laughed. “A real life déjà vu episode! But try to keep his teeth intact, and his arms connected to his shoulders.”
“Just a sec,” and Sarthacus grabbed a hand coming for his face, twisted his body and the man’s arm, flipping him over. He then dislocated the man’s elbow, and winded him.
“Sarthacus, I said keep his arms intact!”
“You said arms! I only did one of them. And I think we have a very special guest here.”
“Really? Who?”
“Look at the door to the left. Look past the man vomiting on the table and look for the thin one.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Skulduggery? Here?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Skulduggery doesn’t exactly drink, does he? He’d make a mess of his trousers. He’s a skeleton for god’s sake. It’d fall right to the bottom… and I didn’t mean it literally. I don’t think he has one.”
“Only you could think like that, Dragona.”
“Nope, I’m sure he’s thought about it too.”
“Well, he’s obviously here for information. Let’s ask.”
They walked over to Skulduggery, and Sarthacus tapped him on the shoulder. Skulduggery turned around, his façade covering his skull.
“Well, if it isn’t a friend and a friend of a friend who I would count as an acquaintance. Mr. Pine I believe? A pleasure.”
Dragona shook hands with Skulduggery. “Good to meet you at last.”
“Yeah, well, enough o’ that.” Said Sarthacus. “What do you need help with?”
“Jumping to the middle already?”
“You seem to know me better than anyone.”
“Billy-Ray Sanguine has been spotted in the Barrwood campsite.”
“And how is he still here?”
“He’s wounded. I’ve got Valkyrie checking his movements right now.”
“So you want us to help her?”
“I was actually looking for Tanith somewhere around here, but now that you mention it… no. you’re not involved.”
Dragona looked dismayed, but Sarthacus said, “Well thanks, Skulduggery. We’ll see you at Barrwood then.”
“Seven o’clock, the entrance.”
As they walked out, Dragona asked, “And how did you get him to let us in?”
“Skulduggery’s jokes are good, but you need to be with him for a few years to understand joke codes.”
“So… your car or mine?”
“I don’t have a car, Dragona.”
“I was joking.”
“So, my car then?”
“But you don’t have a car…”
“Yes, right now I’m making a joke code. I’m saying that I don’t have a car, and you offer yours, so I say we go with mine. As I don’t have a car, I say we go with the healthy option. We walk or run there.”
“So, into my car.”
“Screw that, I’m giving you a lift.”
“You know, I knew you would say that.”

It was half past six when they arrived.
“Can you see anything?”
“Yes,” said Sarthacus, igniting a flame and a stick with it. He handed the stick to Dragona. “Here you go.”
“I’m an elemental too, you know.”
“I know. I just take all chances I see to mock people.”
They came to Valkyrie.
“You’re not going to introduce me are you?”
“You? God no. Just follow my lead.” He walked up to her. “Valkyrie!” he said and hugged her.
“Um… hi Sarthacus. Skulduggery said you’d be coming.”
“Just Sarthacus?” Dragona asked.
“I think so,” Valkyrie said.
“What a kind man he is turning out to be.”
“Don’t worry,” Valkyrie said, “He gets better. I’m Valkyrie Cain.”
“Dragona Pine.”
There was a sound of crunching gravel, and the Bentley parked beside Dragona’s car.”
“Dragona, Skulduggery’s car is way cooler than yours.”
“Oi, shut it. My car’s better in terms of looks.”
“No, It’s not.”
“It’s faster.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“It was made more recently. Say no to that one.” Dragona looked smug in the darkness.
“Skulduggery’s Bentley has bee through more damage than Valkyrie, and that’s a lot. It’s practically been remade, just with the exact same looks. Which are cooler than yours.”
Valkyrie couldn’t help but giggle.
“You,” Dragona whispered, “Are the most annoying man I’ve ever met.”
“No, don’t forget that woman in Italy. She was following us around everywhere we went.”
“Oh her. Wait, is this the one you threw sticks at or the one who stole your money?”
“Same person.”
“Oh, Yeah, she was annoying.”
Skulduggery walked up with two people by his side. “You’re early,” Skulduggery said.
“As usual,” Sarthacus said.
“No, you’re usually quite late. Anyway, I’ve got some backup. Kallista Pendragon and Bridget Whiplash.”
“Hang on… Skulduggery, are you okay? You sound different.”
“What? Do I? How strange. Well, anyway–”
“Skulduggery, show me your face.”
Skulduggery looked up, revealing sunglasses, a thick scarf and ears.
“Skulduggery, why do you have your façade up with your disguise?” Dragona asked.
“Now!” Skulduggery barked.
Kallista and Bridget went for Sarthacus and Dragona, Skulduggery moving for Valkyrie. They each countered the grab and prepared their magic.
Billy Ray Sanguine took off a hat and scarf, but kept the sunglasses on. Tanith Low, disguised as Bridget, drew her sword and swiped at Sarthacus’ long black coat, missing by the breadth of a hair. A female necromancer made knives appear out of nowhere and threw them at Dragona.
He rolled out of the way, retaliating with fire.
Tanith kicked Sarthacus in the chest, thrusting with her sword and preparing foe a counter. Sarthacus fell back, rolling away from the sword and shooting his classic elemental weapon: the Branch.
It smashed Tanith right in the face, and Sarthacus scrambled up and ran with Valkyrie and Dragona into the Barrwood forest.

To be Continued in Part 2...

Thursday, 18 August 2011

Sneak Peaks!


Dakota ran. The zombies were behind her and they were catching up. Stirling was overrun with the things, the Thistle Centre being a popular place to meet up and… throw up. Dakota had tried to get into the ‘Base’ of the zombies.
There had been many more there, but nothing out of the disgusting. The zombies were huge, they could run like an Olympic sprinter, and they spat lots of blood. Their skin was a grainy colour of grey, and pure yellow eyes shone dimly in the dark.
Dakota Lake was a spawn of Nature, her acquired power being able to teleport. Apparently she might gain telekinesis, but that was a completely different matter. Right now there was a gang of zombies sprinting after her.
She needed to teleport, but there was nowhere to go just yet. She couldn’t picture a place in her head, and there were no roofs high enough to let her escape. Soon though. There were houses ahead of her, and the Saint Columbus Church was a good option. Dakota looked up, and teleported to the roof of the church. There was a blast of desert heat, followed immediately by a soothing coolness as orange shadows swirled around her.
She felt like she was falling for a second while time froze, and when she reached her destination, the smoke billowed away and time resumed its countdown to the next sequence of events.
Dakota allowed herself to pause for a moment to regain some needed energy. The zombies were shrieking, spitting lots of blood, while looking around. One of them howled and spat in her direction, then the rest of them started running to the church. Dakota still had time, and she cleared her mind. Beak Street Hospital, she thought. She imagined the room she had first woken up in while in that world.
She teleported, and appeared right behind Karmaloss. He looked as if he was chewing something. Dakota tapped his shoulder. He jumped up, looked around and said; “Please don’t do that. I could’ve choked on my food.”
“Never mind, there was no lead zombie. There were just more of them.”
“And I see you’re covered in blood. Again.”
“I’d like to see you do better.”

Number 2 Below

An hour later Dakota was dressed in a skin-tight suit with a symbol on it that resembled a vine. A woman stood a few metres away from her, and told Dakota what to do.
“OK, I want you to try and make a vine shoot towards you from that tree. Like so,” and a thick green vine shot from the tree. “Just focus on the tree as a whole, then focus inwards on what the tree is made of. Imagine all of the leaves coming together and stretching into a vine. Then try and pull it towards you.”
“Go on, just try. It’s a lot easier after you’ve done it once.”
Dakota exhaled and looked at the tree. She focused on the tree, then thought of the leaves pulling together and shooting out towards her hand.
Amazingly, it happened.

Monday, 8 August 2011

What If...? Lightsabers Were Real? Part II

20 years later

2031, all of the lightsabers have been deployed to the police and the military. What did I do? I went to the military. Gadaffi’s forces have been trying to take control of the UK, Ireland and the USA. Naturally General G decided that lightsabers weren’t good enough for his people, so he has all the blasters on the go just now.
We’re in Scotland, defending the Stirling Castle. Few of my friends have joined the army. Dragona, Nicolette and Kallista have come with me to the castle, Darkane and some others are either hoping we win or are in the police force.
Right now I can see a lot of people with blasters coming up the hill. I’m on the roof and I am ready to press the button which will deploy a wing suit and allow me to glide to the ground and come behind them. Dragona is with me, as is Kallista as well as some others who chose to fight with lightsabers. All blades had to be blue, green or purple so we can identify ourselves. Mine is green, Dragona’s blue, Kallista’s purple.
There is a fierce battle cry and General G’s men attack.
We run to the edge of the roof and jump. We all punch our chests and a wing suit comes out and onto us. We glide to the last line, and let them go.
I motion to the others. 3… 2… 1… Now.
The last men in the last line see their last moments as green and blue lightsaber blades come out of their chests for the first and last time. We all start slashing and thrusting the blades into the bodies of heavily armed men. Something we soon realise is that some of the men have lightsabers. The drop the guns and fumble with the hilts to ignite a red blade. Before one can get the blade, I roundhouse kick him in the chest and catch his hilt, big and clumsy in my hand, switch it on and throw it horizontally into G’s men. I should tell you, the hilts that the military use are Luke Skywalker style, only there isn’t an annoying box in the middle of it. There is a button instead, and believe me, having a green blade on them feels very classic.
I stop, and I hear a high pitched whine in my ears. I look down and see that someone has kept bullets rather than lasers. One is in my stomach.
The battle rages on around me, and my confident grin fades. I feel blood flowing from my mouth, and look around. I fall to my knees and look up at the sky. I hear footsteps close to my ear, and I hear Nicolette say, “Oh, shit! Someone get a medic. Quick! Sarthacus has been hit by a bullet!”
That’s the last thing I hear before colours surround me and what’s left in my sight is my lightsaber.
I flop my hand to my hilt and switch it on for the last time. I haul it as far as I can, hoping it will do its work as it usually does.
Then I die.

Sunday, 7 August 2011

What if...?: Lightsabers were Real?

!! This is a random bit of fanfic set on a young guy called Sarthacus Bolt (As per usual), who saves up his money and buys a real lightsaber. He's an athletic guy, just so you know. Here we go. Oh, he also has some friends (a load of bloggers that I know of) who will take a big part in this. These are what the hilts look like:





My name is Sarthacus Bolt. I went to the stores yesterday and bought a "Real" lightsaber. It's probably just one of those ones with a spring out blade. I got it for around £20, a good deal for something so detailed. The whole thing is metal. The hilt is quite slim. The part at the bottom of it twists, I have no idea why.
I’m in my room just now, looking at it. It’s silver with some black on it. It’s not so heavy.
I point it away from me and turn it on. Out of it comes a glowing green blade. No, not the flimsy plastic type – I mean a real lightsaber blade. A white laser with green surrounding it. It hums patiently, as though waiting for me to move it. I wiggle it about slightly and the humming pitch increases then decreases. I twist the metal piece at the bottom of it and the colour changes to red, orange, yellow, purple, and then blue. I keep it at blue, that being my favourite colour.
I notice that the only thing with any weight is the handle. I try to spin it, but it’s like holding a pen and trying the same thing. There’ll be no flourishing and showing off with this. I hold up a piece of paper and move the blade onto it. There is a sound of burning and the paper falls in 2 pieces.
I switch it off, and the humming stops. I grab my phone and call Dragona.
“Hello?” He says from the other end.
“Dragona, We need to meet up at the park today. Like, now! This is really important!”
“Woah, slow down Sarth. I’ll be there. Goodbye.” He hangs up.

We meet up at the park, and I take Dragona to the bushes.
“What’s up,” he says.
I hold up the hilt.
“You got a toy lightsaber? That’s why you brought me here? Oh my god.”
“No, look here,” I say.
I turn it on and Dragona gapes.
“Man, that’s cool!” Dragona says.
“Not just that,” I say, “Look at this.” I cut a large hole in the fence.
“First things first, where did you get it?”
“In the shops,” I tell him which one, “They only cost £20!”
“Right, I’m going there right now,” he says, pulling out his wallet and taking a £20 note out of it.
 10 minutes later Dragona comes back with a black hilt and a red button on it. He has changed the colour to green. We switch them both on and clash them. They make sounds just like from the movies.

School, the next day.

We have our weapons with us and we show them to Kallista, Nicolette, and Darkane at break.
“This has answers to all of our problems!” I say, grinning madly.
“If you mean killing, hell no. If someone uses deadly force on me, I use… a lightsaber on them, that’s their own fault, but just for fun? No.” Says Kallista

Weekend, the friends all have lightsabers now.

“They sell real blaster thingy’s now,” says Nicolette.
“Yeah, just before us came some angry looking men with a load of the guns. Didn’t look good. Speaking of which there they are now.” says Darkane.
We turn around and see them coming to us.
“Oh, damn.” I say.
“I don’t like lightsabers,” the man says with his gang randomly. “They’re ugly. Go to hell with them!” the gang takes out blasters and start shooting them at us.
We all ignite our blades, mine blue, Dragona’s green, Nicolette’s the same, Kallista’s orange and Darkane’s purple.
“This should be like baseball,” Kallista says.
Somehow we all manage to deflect the daggers of red shooting towards us. We eventually spread out and run for it.
I sprint for the woods and hide for a few minutes behind a huge tree.
I press a button on the lightsaber, not knowing what it will do, and a duplicate springs out from the end of the hilt. 2 sabers? Wow. I switch it on and an orange blade comes out. It retracts and I hold it in my left hand.  I hear 2 of the gang members coming.
“He went that way,”
“No, I heard the sound from the tree next to the big one.”
“Go on, go check then.”
“I’m not bloody going anywhere with a guy with a blade like that! Did you see what they did earlier?”
“You’re scared of a kid? My God. Go, now before I shoot you myself.”
I hear muttering and then I see the man going to the tree next to mine. I peek out and when the other is looking away, run to the first man.  I use my blue blade to cut his gun, and then hesitate. I’m not a killer, but this man would’ve killed me just because he didn’t like lightsabers. I decide on it, and cut his fingers off.
I open my orange blade and run out to the other one, who literally shits himself and tries to get away. I cut his head off by accident instead of burning his back.
I look at the lightsabers in my hands.
I could really get used to these…

To be Continued…

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

New Games, Sweet Books, and problems with commenting. Hmm.

Hey there, guys and girls of the blogging world.
I thought I would just tell you that I had a great time in the holidays (I went to France), and am still having a good time.

Thought I should mention that some of us are having a problem with posting comments (AS far as I can see, only Dragona and I), but I can keep you informed on this.

I'm verylate on reading Bloggie's fanfictions, so I have to do that.

Thre was recently a new book that came out called "I Am Number Four". It. Is. The. Greatest. Book. Ever. Matching the SP series.
"The Power of Six" comes out soon, and you ALL have to read it. 'Tis sweet. The author is a man called James Frey (His pen name is Pittacus Lore).

Gaming. Right, well, there are 2 games coming out that I would like to have my massive hands on. "Batman: Arkham City", and "Spider-Man: The Edge of Time". EOT is a lot like SM:SD, but only with Amazing and 2099. Thor will probably know tonnes, so ask him. Arkham city as Arkham Asylum's sequel, so you know how awesome that is.

A message for Nicolette Croga: You HAVE to get Crackdown. It's like GTA with superpowers. It's brilliant. No Joke.

I'm gonna try to keep up to date with you all, but I have ot go for now.

Bye, all.

Tuesday, 26 July 2011




Monday, 2 May 2011

X-23 Fanfiction

This is an X-Men fanfic about X-23, AKA Laura Kinney. She is a clone of Wolverine, but only has four claws from the hands, and two from the feet.  Read about her for more info. For now, I hope you enjoy this. It’s a mix of past and present tense. It’s 1st person. Here goes…

Right now I’m in the house, hoping no one will find me here. I’m sitting under the dining room table, rocking backwards and forwards. My name is Laura Kinney. I suppose I should tell you how I got into this mess.

I was sitting in a classroom, finishing some work, when the teacher, Dr. Toll, went out to find out who was throwing stones outside his window. I was almost finished. Just one more question.
“So, you think you can just walk away from Matt like that?”
“You don’t know what you’re gettin’ into.”
I stopped working. I didn’t have to look up to know that 2 of the school bullies were standing behind me on either side. Their buddy, Matt, had asked me out at lunch, and I refused. So now he was trying to force me to get in with him. What a B@$+@&£. I wished that I was still being homeschooled. One of them pulled my black hair back. Then the other one tried for my hand. So I did the simple thing: I killed them.
I straightened my hands with my arms, and two razor-sharp claws sliced through my knuckles. They were 8 inches long, and coated with a metal that was indestructible. My hands began to bleed, but they stopped bleeding after about one second. I raised my arms and stabbed both of the boys behind me. I heard them gasp, and then choke on their own blood.
I held on to them with my hands, and flipped. I landed behind them, and retracted my claws. I was used to the pain of them coming through my skin. Then I ran. When I was in the grounds I was caught again by Matt.
“So… ya changed your mind then?”
“Get outta my face.”
“Ooh, ya gonna hurt me?”
Then I drew a claw across his throat. He stared sightlessly to the school. Then he fell down for the last time. I ran and kept running, knowing that the police cops would get here soon.  I ran and ran and ran.


The police didn’t catch me but there are pictures of a missing girl all over the news. I was almost where I needed to be when I saw a cop car by the house next to mine. There was no chance I could get past without being seen. Then I thought about ways to get past. I could clean up. I could kill them. Then I realised that they were facing the opposite way.
I ran to the house, and sniffed. I caught mixed scents, but the thing that really got me was the smell of pepper spray. There was a cop in the house. I went through the door, and followed the scent to the kitchen. I saw the cop looking at the phone book. When my claws came out the first thing I did was shred the man’s belt. It fell to the floor before he could react. Then he spoke into his radio; “This if Officer Bren, requesting assistance in – Ungh!” then he gurgled blood.
I destroyed the radio, and thought about what to do. I thought about the cops outside. I knew they would be coming very soon. I ran upstairs, and saw them come in. I vaulted the railing, and drew my claws from my feet and landed on the shoulders of a cop. Needless to say his face made a mess of the hall.
Then I spun around and slashed at the other cop. I made out one word before his radio was destroyed: “Mutant”. They were coming with S.H.I.E.L.D. I broke his neck before he could do anything else. I then leaped up to the railing, sticking to it with my claws, and then flipping over it. A second after that I was shot I the chest. I stumbled slightly, and then dived away from the bullet hailstorm. I waited for the person shooting to reload the gun. Then I leaped to him and cut the gun in two. I broke his nose, and stabbed him through the jugular.
I then ran and his under the table, sheathing my claws.

Sunday, 9 January 2011

The ------ ------

This here is a villain in a certain book. Ahem -- my book.

Here he is. I'm NOT revealing his name, and if anyone tries to copy him into another book... well, let's just say you won't be smiling.

He's kind of lined because he's meant to look like a nightmare. If you're crying and you squint everything will be lined. Can you see how it resembles?

Friday, 7 January 2011

Er... Hi?

Hi. My name (for now) is "Sarthacus Bolt", AKA "Longshanks". This is my first post on this blog, and just so you know, there could be a new book coming out... yes, I am writing a book. It is called: The... Sorry, it does have more, but I can't help you in case someone else writes a book and steals my idea. No saying. My mouth is sealed.
I would advise any other authors to come on this blog (but you don't have to, it's OK.)
When --- ---- -- --- ---- is released, I will reveal my name and I will reveal the book name. OK maybe you'll work out the book name when people start squealing on the blog.